Slightly Depressed

Now I don't feel like explaining what happened last night, but what I can tell you is that doing it wasn't worth it...AT ALL. Right now, my parents don't trust me at all anymore. I'm freakin 17 years old, and I do something that a KID would do. I'm gonna be an adult soon, and I'm still making dumb decisions. This is my senior year, and I probably won't be able to do some of the things I want because my parents' trust for me is gone now. Lets see, my parents don't trust me, my grades suck, and I might not get into college. In MY point of view, my parents think I'm a failure and they're not too proud of me. I'm aware that my mom occasionally checks out this blog and Mom I want you to know that no matter what you do like you coming up to my room after you read this, or tell me or w/e, its NOT gonna change the way I'm thinking. It just doesn't matter cause even if you love me or w/e, it doesn't mean that you HAVE to be proud of me or w/e. I hate the thought of it but its probably true. On top of that on my mind to get me down, I have no job, I'm single, I'm not doing the best I can, all this bullshit, and I know half of it doesn't matter in the long run, but its not the long run RIGHT NOW. I SEE the bigger picture, but the frame is still being built. I TRY to live for the moment regardless of the past, so why should I live for the future right now? I don't know man. I'm just confused. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm disappointed in myself, which has led to believe that I'm slightly depressed. No I'm not gonna slit my wrists, I'm just in a state or putting things back together for ME so that I can be happy. FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE. I just need time is all...